Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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