She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
