just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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