I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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