I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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