yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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