Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
