I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
