was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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