I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
