I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize