He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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