i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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