My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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