Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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