I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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