I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
