conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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