Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
