Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
