so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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