The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
