Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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