And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
