The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
