halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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