i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
this beer tastes like vomit already
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I touched a dick in church today
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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