dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
