your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
