We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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