It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
