I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
