She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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