Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
