i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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