Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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