So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
