just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize