Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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