zippers are such a cool invention
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
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