like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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