Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
