i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
