brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
