Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
