listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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