I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
