Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
