She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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