Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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