She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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