After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
