There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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