he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
