i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
