I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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