im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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