It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
