he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
