chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
