I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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